Pound-for-Pound biggest cock in MMA

Anderson Silva is a cock. I will now take 5 minutes of your time to explain why. He's still the number 1 Pound-for-Pound fighter in the world mind you, but also gains the brand new, super special, number 1 Pound-for-Pound cock in MMA title today. This feat is made all the more impressive by the other contenders for the number 1 P4P cock title. Let's review the challengers just so we can get an idea of the massive levels of cock Anderson is spewing out right about now:-

1. Rampage Jackson - Got high on energy drinks ... somehow ... then sped off in his car, running over a pregnant woman and killing her baby. 
2. War Machine - Threatened to kill president (an) Obama. Has 3 or 4, losing count now, assault charges, including assault against a female. Offered to "Fuck a fag in the ass for 1$". Personally, I wouldn't get fucked in the ass for less than 2$. 
3. Tito Ortiz - Believed to be suffering from some form of thyroid problem. Only way to explain giant head. Cranial pressure must be forcing him to act in strange ways and concoct moronic excuses. Has never lost a fight, ever. Any losses on record can be explained with perfectly legitimate reasons such as "I fought with a cracked skull". Doctors somehow missed said broken skull in pre-fight medical checks.

So, if we were to combine those 3 in to one giant walking cock, we still wouldn't be even approaching the cock levels of Anderson Silva currently. So what could be worse than a baby killing, junkie, woman beating, excuse making cock with a giant head? Just one second by the way, in case you don't know how big Tito Ortiz's head is*, just look at it. It must be some form of medical marvel:-

Jesus it's huge. Anyway, what could be worse than all of the above? A cock so giant that he disrespects the entire sport of MMA, all of the fans of MMA with what can only be described as a .... Well shit, it can't be described. I'll do my best by the ever reliable means of smileys for those of you with no knowledge of MMA:-

Round 1 = :)
Round 2 = :D
Round 3 = :O
Round 4 = :|
Round 5 = >:(

Now for those of you who want to know more than just a series of colons followed by random punctuation marks or letters then we'll continue. It was, simply put, a disgrace. Anderson comes in, mocks Demian Maia for the first 2 rounds by dancing, prancing mixed in with the odd spot of jazz hands. Rightly so to be fair. Maia had no place in that cage with Anderson. Maia had about as much chance of defeating Anderson as the Polish Prime Minister had of defeating gravity. So, enter round 3. After 10 solid minutes of playing himself up, taunting Maia to engage Anderson then shuts down. Just ... shut down. For 3 full rounds he avoided any punches, ran around and generally make himself look like a pussy who wouldn't engage.

Why does this make him worse than a baby killer? The sport was on showcase tonight in a new arena, new fans, and new markets. How many fans walked away after seeing their first MMA event and thought "What the fuck was that shit?” Some people do that anyway even on amazing events, who knows, maybe they are boxing fans, in which case I say go back to your dying sport, asshole.

Hell, whilst I don't really even want to promote the shitfest that was Silva Vs. Maia, I'd still say go check it out. Then you'll understand the massive rage felt by fans. You want an analogy? You bet your sweet ass you do. It was like going to see a gig, only for midway through the show the band throws down their instruments and take up a spot of quiet reading. Then again, if it was a Coldplay concert, that would be a perfectly acceptable outcome. Followed by some form of terrorist act ... but a man can only hope.

I have no problem with people acting cocky and showboating. If you're that good and can get away with it, then go for it. Do a jig. Recite some poetry. Recite poetry while doing a jig and waving your penis around if you're REALLY good. Mock for all your worth. But if you do, dear fucking god, actually finish the job and don't become the very thing you're mocking.

I tried to get my friends to watch UFC 112. I thought it'd be a wonderful way to try and show the great aspects of the sport I love. But now all I can think is thank god most of them had other plans. I honestly have no idea how I would of explained to them what just happened and still get them to watch another MMA event. Though I must say I don't know why none of them wanted to take up my offer of pizza, beer and a mild homoerotic sports event ...

So, Anderson Silva, for work in the field of disrespecting and humilating your own profession, and the fans of that profession, I present to you the title of pound-for-pound biggest cock in MMA. Raise his hand in victory then walk away in disgust Big Dan Miragliotta:-

Good work, Big Dan!

*Image may be altered for comedic purposes**

**No actually, it is just that fucking big.